How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

You Can Stop Fighting With Your Chidren!

Here is the bestselling book that will give you the know–how you need to be more effective with your children and more supportive of yourself. Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down–to–earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.

Their methods of communication, illustrated with delightful cartoons showing the skills in action, offer innovative ways to solve common problems.

This book is in its twentieth edition for a reason: these methods WORK. I personally know a mother who formerly used the harsh, punitive methods of James Dobson, only to find that her problems with her daughter became worse and worse over time rather than better. After she read "How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk" and put its suggestions into practice, she literally threw Dobson's volume into the trash. And after a year and a half, she told me her relationship with her daughter had improved so much that she'd previously had no idea that it COULD be that good. The fact that the problems she'd been having had vanished now seemed almost an afterthough compared to the deepening of their parent-child bond. Their communication had improved profoundly, opening up previously unguessed levels of richness in their relationship. "She is such a terrific kid," my friend once told me, and with genuine incredulity added, "I can't believe I actually used to HIT her!!"

Another acquaintance of mine, who is raising two great kids using nonpunitive methods of the sort Faber and Mazlish recommend, summarized her entire philosophy in just one sentence: "I don't want obedient children, I want COOPERATIVE children!" I think the great majority of parents, if they thought about it, would realize that this is what they too would prefer. Faber and Mazlish show the way.

This book appears at first glance to be a collection of nonpunitive discipline techniques, but it is actually much more: a whole new way of thinking about the parent-child relationship which transcends the permissiveness vs strictness continuum with an approach to parenting based on neither punishments nor rewards. Authoritarian methods use coercion to make the child lose and the parent win, while total permissiveness makes the parent lose and the child win. Faber and Mazlish's methods, on the other hand, show the way towards families in which everybody wins.

Christopher Dugan

http://www.geocities.com/cddugan/homepage.html


A must for all parents   December 10, 1999
35 out of 35 found this review helpful

I first heard Adele Faber talk at a college near my home when I was pregnant with my first child. Everything she said made such sense! She really struck a chord with me. I immediately went out and bought this book, and read it cover to cover. I parent by the principals of this book, and I'm convinced my child is socially and emotionally happier and healthier because of it. I re-read it at least once a year, and always give it as a gift to new parents. This book is the "holy grail" of parenting, and anyone who influences a child's life, including teachers, babysitters, etc. should read this book.


This book works wonders even for kids who can't talk.   July 25, 1999
42 out of 44 found this review helpful

I am a psychologist and mother, with a 6 year old autistic son. I first read this book when he was about 18 months old, and I waited patiently and eagerly for him to begin talking. He didn't... and didn't... and didn't... because one of the hallmarks of autism is a language delay. It would be another 3 years before I really knew what his voice sounded like. Nonetheless, this book was a godsend for us, because, really, it teaches parents how to read and respond to their children's emotions, no matter what modality they use to communicate them. And what my child needed more than anything else was to have someone who could understand how he was feeling, and give words to those feelings, because he could not. "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen" gave me the tools to hear him and help him, even though he was not talking.

Now, at age 6, he is talking a lot, reading even more, and is a happy, joyful, confident child, far from the stereotype of his disability. I believe that much of his positive emotion and self-esteem comes from knowing that his feelings are understood and respected, despite the communication barriers we face. Those are gifts I was able to give him because of the strategies I learned from "How to Talk..." We still have a long road to travel, but so does every parent. But rest assured, ALL of Faber and Mazlish's books will be making the journey with us.